The Lowdown: restaurant merch

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Forget haute cuisine, haute couture is this season’s must have restaurant accessory.

I love a bit of merch

Good to hear. While restaurant merch is by no means a new phenomenon – people have been able to buy Hard Rock Café and Hooters t-shirts if they so wish for decades – it’s experiencing a bit of a purple patch over here with some big, and let’s face it surprising, brands getting in on the act.

Who are we talking about?

Nando’s is the latest group to bring out a new clothing collection, this one dubbed its ‘hottest merch drop yet’. Those of us old enough to remember (or even wear!) Global Hypercolor clothes will be pleased to hear that the concept is being revived by the chicken chain with its heat-reactive clothing and accessories. Clothing such as t-shirts, socks and sweatshirts are available with branding that replicates its hot sauces  - Plainish, Lemon & Herb, Medium, Hot, Extra Hot - with each piece in the collection revealing ‘a distinct new colourway as the temperature changes’, according to Nando’s.

OK, that’s actually pretty clever, and not that surprising...

We weren’t referring to Nando’s but rather sausage roll slinger Greggs, which has been showing its sartorial side in a link up with high street clothes retailer Primark. In a collab only slightly less bizarre than North Face and Gucci’s tie up with trainspotting TikTok star Francis Bourgeois, the companies recently released their 21-piece festival collection, allowing people with too much money on their hands to buy items such as Greggs branded clogs, sliders, bum bags, bodysuits and even boxer shorts, the latter presumably just so people can say the joke ‘is that a sausage roll in your pants or are you just pleased to see me?’.

A 21-piece collection? That’s pretty serious stuff

Ah, but it’s small potatoes in comparison to KFC’s latest line in clothing, which stretches to a ludicrous 47 items. Everything from t-shirts and shorts emblazoned with the colonel’s ‘It’s Finger Lickin’ Good’ mantra and bright red leggings to bomber jackets featuring the logo in large letters can be bought from fashion brand HYPE’s flagship shop on Carnaby Street. It’s all pretty garish stuff but we do have our eyes on a particularly striking black t-shirt covered with chicken drumsticks...

Sorry, but I’m not sure it’s my style

Fret not, there’s plenty of more tasteful restaurant merch available if you know where to look. Our favourites include Taiwanese brand Bao, which sells t-shirts, tote bags and baby grows that feature cool art (fancy walking around with an image of a man sitting in a bowl of noodles?); and nose-to-tail champions St John, whose collection includes ‘Fergroni’ t-shirts as well as those bearing its recognisable pig logo. Then there’s the super creative MEATliquor, which has a range of cool t-shirts including one that - most presciently - is a riff on the Greggs logo but refers instead to its punchy Grog cocktail. Have some of that Primark.